Update #2

Well, it has been a LONG week here at the Hicks House. Here is a run down of what has happened.
Friday morning (10dpo) I took an EHPT and got a positive! As we all know, in order for you to get a positive test within the time limit there has to be HSG in your system, which means baby has implanted. I found it too stressful to test again. I would have a slight panic attack everytime I thought about it. I think this is because of what happened in March; 2 positive tests and then a negative, then a m/c.
I decided not to stress myself out over it. I took it easy over the weekend and then went yesterday (Tuesday) to have a beta done. I really wanted to go Monday, but the doctor didn't call me back in time. I am currently waiting for the doctors office to call with the results.
However, this morning, my temp took a big drop and I started (very minimal) dark brown spotting. I am very aware that this is normal and that alot of women have it, but it still has me a little worried. I am trying to relax and just sit still. I have my feet propped up and am trying to stay distracted with the Today Show!

I guess a couple of things can happen at this point. Either the blood work will come back negative meaning, I miscarried before I could get the the blood work done or the test I took was faulty. I find it hard to believe it is the latter as I NEVER get positive tests...and I test ALOT! I have only had 3 cycles with a positive test since we got married. One in May '05, one in March of this year and the one I had this cycle. Some women get what is known as evaps on tests. An evap is a second line that appears on the test after the time limit. Meaning for example, you wait the typical 3 minutes and it is negative put it in the trash or on the counter, come back in 10+ minutes (or however long) and the test is positive. This would be considered an evap because it does not come up within the time limit. I have NEVER seen one of these. All of my positives have come up within the time limit.
I am a firm believer in a women's intuition and I truly believe for whatever the reason we are miscarrying very early. We have a consultation with the doctor on Monday to talk about all of this and about IUI.

Thanks for your prayers and I will continue to keep you updated.

****12:30 pm UPDATE -
Still minimal dark brown spotting. Have seen light pink blood one time. Nothing Major. Still waiting on a call from the doctor....I have called several times to no avail.
****7:45 pm UPDATE -
It's a no go this time, too. I talked to the doctor today and she said that my b/w on Monday was negative. It needed to be above 5 to be positive and it was 2. The doctor said that the test I took on Friday detects 20mi of HCG and that I had to have close to that to get a positive home test, but then by Tuesday it had dropped. So we are going in to the doctors office on Monday afternoon to talk about why this is happening and what to do about it. We are also hoping to do the IUI this next cycle.

On a positive note, at least we know that Todd's "men" are getting the job done which is a BIG IMPROVEMENT...thanks to lots of vitamins, supplements and PRAYER!

Todd and I are doing ok. We are frustrated with getting so close and then getting disappointed. But, we are aware that ultimately God has a perfect plan and design. Who are we to question His plan for our lives? Even if it is impossible to understand.

We had the harsh realization today that this is how it is going to be from here on out on this journey. Insurance does not cover any infertility treatments and we certainly can't afford it. So other than the IUI and basic medicine (Clomid) we are kinda on our own (besides the Creator of Life, of course!) just trying to figure things out along the way. At first we were angered by this. Angry, angry, angry. I pitched a temper tantrum like you have never seen and Todd was so frustrated! And then we realized...God is setting Himself up big time! He is fixing this situation so that the only thing we have to depend on is HIM. Sometimes in this day and age we think we rely on God, but we never realize how much we need Him until we are stripped of our *power* over a situation. It is amazing to me how we as silly humans will fight to the death to have control over the situation....sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. Believe me, Todd and I have placed this situation in God's hands from the beginning. I still believe it is ok to seek medical intervention...I am not saying we should be back woods about it. I just believe that God wants to set the situation up so that when the result is achieved He gets ALL of the glory.

We are SO thankful for all of our family and friends that support us and pray for us...there is NO WAY we could make it through all of this without you guys encouraging us along the way. Todd and I are very open with this process. We want to be so transparent about it that it is obvious to everyone when we do get pregnant that it was all God!
SO....THANK YOU for remembering us in your prayers and I promise the next blog will be light hearted!